I’m not crying, you’re crying …
I’m not crying, you’re crying …
in case you want to know why i live where i do …
A project of Air Ball Creative for TEDxMileHigh. More information at airballcreative.com/. A film about the people, the places, and the heart and soul of Denver. Created in 45 days by two guys with the help of a few friends.
Directed and Produced by: Thaddeus Anderson and Woody Roseland
Poem written by: Ken Arkind
Narrated by: Theo Wilson
Music by: Dexter Britain
Thank you to the following:
BC Serna – Editing Assistant & Camera Operator
Josh Baker – Post Production/Camera Operator
Jeremy Miles – Color Correction/Helicopter Pilot
Brent Joyce – Audio Mixing
Troy Fairbanks – Skateboarder
Caulen Carlyle – Skateboarer
Micah Williams – Bike Rider
Colorado Rockies – Jeff Donehoo
Denver Arts & Venues – Brian Kitts, Rudi Cerri & Jeanette Murrietta
Denver Cruisers – Stephen Jones
Denver Nuggets – Amy O’Brien, Tim Gelt
Giant Dancers – Jonathan Borofsky
Hampton Inn and Suites – David Admin
Linger – Peter Gordon
Sports Authority Field at Mile High Grounds Crew
Denver Public Art – Rude Ceri
Denver Botanical Gardens
Denver Beer Co
Edited on an 11″ Macbook Air
Recently Esquire published an article written by the intuitive Mick Stingley synopsizing HBO\’s Looking for the straight-male community. In the article, Mick astutely points out that \”this show is pretty gay\” and expresses his disappointment that there aren\’t more similarities or references to RuPaul, who is \”really fun,\” unlike Looking or its characters, which don\’t live up to his standards regarding how fabulously hilarious us queers should be. While I\’m not in any way affiliated with the show, I believe I owe Mick an apology because I too can be pretty boring, and I know this challenges what he expects members of the gay community, and their depiction on television, to be. Over the last few years my sexcapades have gotten pretty regular and monogamous, while I\’ve also become less of a bitchy accessory to my straight female friends. Actually, I know quite a few tedious queers out there who, in our effort for equal rights, may have had less time to entertain you. But I digress.
Looking does nothing to dispel the stigma that gay men spend their time hooking up with guys and talking about hooking up with guys, but it doesn\’t have to. Do I wish there were more diversity in our programming? Sure, but it is not a television show\’s responsibility to portray all factions of a complex community. However, it is important to portray its chosen factions with integrity, and it just so happens that there really are gay guys with beards who hook up with other guys who may or may not happen to have beards. Is it groundbreaking television? Probably not, buts it\’s not fair to offensively criticize the show for mainstreaming the lives of gay men and not depicting them as \”fun\” enough.
Esquire\’s disclaimer points out that this article just \”reflects one man\’s viewing experience.\” Similarly, Looking is the experience of a few gay men in San Francisco and in no way attempts to generalize the experience of all gay men into one 30-minute dramedy. This is not unlike HBO\’s decision to have Girls derive from Lena Dunham\’s personal experiences instead of the experiences of every diverse female living in New York City. I reiterate: Do I wish there were more shows that portrayed other segments of these communities than the privileged white ones they seem to be so overwhelmingly preferential toward? Absolutely, but Looking is actually much closer to reality in that sense; plus that\’s an entirely different blog post, and I\’m getting off-track from chastising Esquire.
While in many forms, gay culture is nothing short of magnificent, many of us actually strive for normal, boring lives with partners and jobs and kids, free from fear that the government won\’t recognize our marriages or that we could possibly be fired for what is in fact our unbelievably boring lifestyle. An excerpt from Stingley\’s article makes an ostensibly agreeable argument:
Gays have largely been depicted in television and movies as either extremely fun and funny (Will and Grace; The Birdcage) or starkly sad and depressing (Philadelphia; Angels in America) so perhaps it\’s time for a Hollywood portrayal of gay life as normal, tedious, and bland. Makes straight guys seem together and interesting by comparison, though.
Yes! You\’re so close, Mick! Seemingly together and interesting by comparison? Is this that moment of epiphany when you realize we aren\’t all that different and should be treated equally in spite of everything?
And if this show really takes off, prepare yourselves for a world of boring gay men who blend in and will probably talk to you about last night\’s game and drink bourbon.
Actually, Mick, your fears are being realized. It really is happening! Just last week I came home from work, didn\’t watch any clips of Bernadette Peters on YouTube, and went to bed early (only after running the dishwasher and setting the coffee timer for the next morning). Gay men can be fabulous, and gay men can be boring, just like some days I do a kick-ass Ethel Merman impression, and other days I just want to settle for a subdued Bea Arthur (who isn\’t boring; she\’s just no Ethel). If this is the case, maybe straight men can take our place and start being a little more interesting, because it\’s probably blown to have lived your entire lives with not one appealing thing to say. (Now this is the part where I\’m chastised for generalizing.)
I\’ll tell you what: You give us the same rights and protections that you have, as well as the everyday convenience of not having to think twice every time we want to hold hands with our partner in public. You teach your children not to be dicks to their gay and trans peers in school, and we\’ll give you some of the qualities that make us so interesting. There\’s plenty to go around. Some of us are happy being boring. We crave boring. It\’s exhausting being so damn remarkable all the time.
Overall, maybe what the author of Esquire\’s controversial article was trying to say is just that it\’s plainly a dull show. If that\’s the case, hey, I agree! But I actually think it was an attempt to try to be amusing at the expense of gay people who are just trying to live ordinary lives, in which case I would like to ask not only him but the rest of the straight population to refrain from treating us like society\’s dancing monkeys, because not all of us can dance all that well anyway.
Looking – HBO
not really sure where the negative reviews are coming from, i had heard that HBO’s Looking was slow and boring. I actually found it moved pretty well. I was interested in the 3 friends and their lives and actually found myself identifying with them as the pilot went on. I”m looking forward ( pun intended ) to future episodes to see where the series leads us …
From Tamara Star :
I’m told happiness is a choice.
Unfortunately we complicate our lives to the point of being unable to recognize happiness when it appears before our eyes.
So how to clear the slate? Here are 10 things you’ll need to give up in exchange for your happiness.
1. Give up caring what other people think of you. I know it seems counter intuitive as we humans are primal pack animals that don’t want to be cast from the village, but spending time worrying what others think, is a waste of energy. You’ll never please everyone and it’s none of your business what others think of you.
2. Give up trying to please everyone. Unless you’re living life to the beat of your own drum, your tribe won’t be able to find you. Be the best version of you you can be, and you’ll naturally attract in the people that are supposed to surround you.
3. Give up participating in gossip. 100 percent of the time, those sharing gossip with you will gossip about you. Believing gossip is like gambling everything on a horse sight unseen. It’s naive.
4. Quit worrying. Where thoughts go, energy flows. Worry is investing time and energy in something you don’t want to have happen. Learn to let go and trust.
5. Let go of insecurity. When we take ourselves too seriously, we think everyone else does too. There is one version of you on the planet. Be it, own it and quit worrying about it. No one really cares or watches you that closely.
6. Stop taking everything personally. Truth is, most people are too consumed with their own life to really consider what you’re doing. As my first boss said so well: “The world doesn’t revolve around you. Most people’s reactions have nothing to do with you, so let it go.”
7. Give up the past. We’ve all been hurt, we all had parents that made mistakes and we’ve all been through hell. You didn’t listen to your parents when you were younger, so why are you still listening to their voices in your head now? Every experience in life has taught you something or made you stronger.
8. Give up spending money on what you don’t need in effort to buy happiness.Living simply allows the space for life to flow. We complicate our lives by spending too much money and filling our home with “things.” Less is truly more.
9. Give up anger. Anger burns a hole in the hand of the person still holding on to it. Move it out once and for all.
10. Give up control. Control is an illusion. We live in an out of control world. Learn to embrace the new and welcome change; otherwise you’ll grow old through your own rigidity. Learn to let go.
Tamara Star is a coach, healer, speaker, writer, and businesswoman. Connect with Tamara on her website, Facebook or Twitter.
My thoughts on season 2 of The Walking Dead.
Admittedly I’m not a huge fan this show ( hence being a season behind on viewing ) but it’s hard for me to enjoy a show where all the characters are just so unlikeable. From Andrea’s ( Lori Holden ) constant whining for a gun, then the moment she gets her hands on one she shoots one of her companions. To Carl ( Chandler Riggs ) an 11 year old brat who refuses to listen to any adult on the show and eventually causes the death of another.
None of the characters show any common sense and I find myself more often than not rooting for the zombies. I suppose I will end up watching season 3 when it eventually shows up on Netflix , but that will be next summer when I’ve run out of other tv options ….
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